Coping with Life
There’s a childrens book called Do Like a Duck Does where a fox attempts to convince a mother duck and her ducklings that he is also a duck. Every preschool and kindergarten class loves this book when they hear it and sometimes they request it again. With the problems that hit us, we need to learn to be like ducks. There are times to let the water and the troubles just flow off our backs. Other times we need to stretch up, shake out our wings, and let out a loud cry hoping that others join in with us. Toni Buzzeo’s book Dawdle Duckling is another pleaser for this crowd.
We know quite a bit about coping techniques in our house: humor, release, finding other activities to compensate, tears, anger, and lifting our voices for help from others. Take today for example. This was my first day off from my second job at a local dept. store since Thanksgiving. I took the job for the extra funds so we would have a Christmas, but also so I could be with adults, get paid to rearrange and straighten items, and be rewarded for being a good team player. Customers spent all weekend telling me that I was cheerful and pleasant. It felt good to be recognized in a different environment for the skills that are taken for granted in a school library. Of course you encounter some ruffled feathers and irate birds in the holiday rush, but when you can simply shake it off, you don’t end up taking home excess baggage and guilt.
While I was enjoying the prospect of an evening to relax, I took 2 sons (#1 and #3) to the doctor. #3 son has been vomiting since Saturday and not eaten since Friday. Stomach bug and he’ll live, but he needed to hear the doctor tell him that, not me. #1 son had been complaining of chest pains periodically since Tuesday’s hockey game. While hubby dear insisted it was a waste of time, that voice that lets a Mama duck know just when something threatens her baby told me to check it out. Turns out he has pneumothorax or a collapsed lung. It seems this can occur for no reason especially if you are a tall, thin young man. He is 6 ft and 133 pounds. So now we wait to see if this medium size pocket of air is absorbed by his body and decreases in size by Wed. or if he suddenly experiences shortness of breath and we race to the ER praying. Doc says to send him to school. He is preparing for a choir concert and has practice during and after school. Wed. a.m. I take him back to re X-ray and hope that it doesn’t grow larger. If so, they’ll stick in a tube and drain it.
Hmmm! How do you cope? Well, I was driving down the interstate when the Doc called and I couldn’t even write down the name of the disorder. Since #1 son had driven off the other direction for a job interview, I began the process of gathering information, using technology to locate him, notifying my backup system of parents to be alert and WATCH him (yes, parents have spy networks), and deciding how to rearrange schedules just in case we have a quick trip to the hospital and 2 day stay. I researched lungs and disorders, tried different search strategies until I located the correct term, gathered information, cooked supper, did dishes, planned a lesson, then dialed my mother to tell her what was happening just as #1 son walked in. I beckoned him to the computer to read with me the best information while I explained to grandma what this meant and where she could go on Google to learn more. I even showed #1 son sites on coping with illnesses. It’s not his first. He has spent 5.5 months of the past 12 with his arm in a cast, broken foot, collarbone, and arm (3 times), had a plate in the arm and taken out, and lacerated his kidney. How? Soccer, wrestling, football, kneeboarding, water skiing, etc. No dolls or tea parties for that child.
How did he cope? Myspace.com He immediately logged on and let his friends know what was going on. They did collaborative searches and then in typical teenage fashion said, “Well, hope you’ll be alright.” Then they played interactive online videogames.
