Deep Thinking

I have always disliked the term “red-headed stepchild” because it places the blame for actions/inactions on others’ perceptions of us as less than worthy or undeserving. I remember vividly reading the Aesop fable about the Fox and The Grapes in first grade. The poor fox couldn’t jump high enough to get the grapes so he walked away saying “They were probably sour anyway.” (See the wikipedia description of this tale.)

So often our thinking is flawed and we rationalize away the issue when we are unwilling to tackle the problem and do what needs to be done to correct it.

Take the perceptions on equal or equitable representation in ALA for school librarians. If you truly believe we are under-represented on very important committees, you must be willing to DO SOMETHING about it. That means our school librarians must be willing to find a way or make a way to make things happen. We must be willing to volunteer and accept committee and leadership responsibilities. We must be willing to read through documents. We must be willing to seek funding and help to finance our serving at the national level.

It would be much easier for me to stay within my school and not attend long Midwinter and Annual meetings. (I still need a roommate or help for the last several days of midwinter this year just so I can afford the hotel room.) I decided the service to the profession was worth the sacrifice of time so I will go. It also doesn’t mean that I am more concerned with national things than local things. I am balancing my activities with philosophy and practicalness.

But in today’s world, I cannot be Cinderella waiting for some fairy godmother/godfather to swoop in at the last minute after everyone has left for the party to rescue me and send me on my way. I tried that this year.

I waited the night before AASL conference saying, “Is my check for payment going to arrive so I have funds? Will I find the funds I need to hop on a last minute flight and go to AASL? Will someone suddenly swing by my house and say “You are needed, hop in? and swoop me off to the conference? Will my soon-to-be-ex STBX hubby apologize for trying to bankrupt me and leave me penniless, destitute, and naked on the street with no home?”

Nope! Didn’t happen. I didn’t go to AASL and I’m sad. I know it was a wonderful conference because I read the blog accounts and talked to people on phone & via email. I cannot rationalize away the fact that I was unable to attend AASL by thinking it was no less than absolutely wonderful.

I can offer excuses - new principal, not enough prof’l leave time, no money, no roommate, no one to watch my son, school needed me for fall festival, and on & on. But the fact is that I wasn’t willing to work hard enough to achieve the conference. I wasn’t willing to make some of the sacrifices necessary to attend. I could have worked a second job or sold my Mary Kay. I made a choice to focus on representing school libraries at the ALA Midwinter conference instead of refueling at AASL.

I made a choice. I refuse to accept sour grapes. The conference was wonderful. What I am going to do is plan better for the future? I will not rely upon others for funding. I will save money as soon as this divorce ends and I’m not in the negatives every month. I will make a plan and I will take the steps to achieve my goals. Silly fox, should have planned ahead and found some branches to drag over to climb to reach his goals. Silly Cinderella, shouldn’t sit crying in the cinders because she wasn’t invited.